Last Thursday morning was challenging, to say the least. I figured out what was wrong, what we needed to do differently and devised a plan. My youngest daughter took her time getting out of bed, took her time getting dressed, took her time brushing her hair, took her time brushing her teeth, and then played. Notice I didn’t mention anything about shoes. She waited until it was time to leave to put on her shoes, and that is no small task for her. She has to have just the right pair of shoes for just the right outfit with just the right hairstyle. She’s only seven.
The way I figured Thursday morning had turned sour was that Little Bit decided that since her brother was no longer on Safety Patrol for the last nine weeks, she didn’t have to hurry to get ready in the morning. The kids like to eat breakfast at school, so I want to get them there in time to be able to eat before school starts, but they barely had time Thursday once they got there. So I made sure on Friday morning to get Little Bit to put on her shoes after she got dressed and I had curled her hair. She was to receive a Terrific Kid Award that morning, and everything was running smoothly up to that point. I was so proud of her and just knew she would look so cute receiving her award.
So, she still had about twenty minutes to finish getting her shoes on, brush her teeth and for me to finish her hair, which should have been plenty of time. Twenty-five minutes later, she was whining and crying about not being able to find the exact pair of shoes that she wanted to wear. I had already urged her to just pick out another pair because her brother and sister had both already helped her search for that white pair of shoes she wanted to wear. When we finally had about twelve minutes left to get them to school and for them to eat breakfast before class started, I told her we had to go and yelled for her to get her shoes on, now! She balked, I lost my temper, and I said a few things I now regret.
Finally, dropping her off, I told her she deserved a Terrible Kid Award and that I was going to take her Terrific Kid Award and attach a statement about what had happened that morning so she would not forget that being a Terrible Kid at home negated the Terrific Kid Award at school. She cried more all the way to school, her face was red and splotchy and I was ticked off.
After I dropped her off, I drove my oldest to middle school, dropped her off and decided to search for Little Bit’s shoes one last time because I felt horrible about the way everything had turned out. I looked and looked, to no avail, and even today I have no idea what happened to those shoes. She worked on cleaning her room all weekend, a chore that should have taken maybe three hours tops, and she still hasn’t found the shoes. It’s as if they grew legs and walked away. Anyway, I went over to the school for the award ceremony. I wanted to be there for Little Bit because I was so angry and disappointed in myself. I am supposed to be the mature one, and instead, I basically threw a tantrum because my perfect morning had been ruined.
Long story short: I attended her awards ceremony, saw her get her award for being a Terrific Kid, took some pictures and texted them to family members. I told my Mom and my hubby that she deserved a Terrible Kid award instead of the Terrific Kid award and I deserved the Terrible Mom award. My Mom texted me back: “Momma said there’d be days like this”. All I could do was smile. I felt like I could never write another devotional or do anything for God ever again. I felt like there was no excuse for my behavior and I didn’t deserve God’s grace.
But God spoke to me and reminded me that His Grace is free because of His love for me, I cannot earn His Grace because Grace is not dependent on anything that I do or say. That reminder helped me to change my perspective on Friday. At church yesterday, Pastor Rich continued a series on Disappointment that he began on Easter Sunday. He reminded us that one of his points from his Easter sermon was: “Repeated disappointment creates Negative Expectancy.” He said that the enemy of our souls knows that he cannot pluck us out of God’s hand so he endeavors to use disappointment in our lives to bring us to a point of stagnation in our walk with Lord. I recalled Pastor Rich sharing that information on Easter Sunday and it suddenly took hold in my spirit.
As a result of that reminder of Easter Sunday’s sermon, I have been reminded of one scripture passage that has been a great encouragement to me throughout my life whenever I find myself disappointed, usually at my own behavior.
1 Peter 5:6-10 (NLT)
6So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 7Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 8Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. 10In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 11All power to him forever! Amen.
Pastor Rich went on to a new sermon that greatly encouraged me to not allow disappointment to rule and reign in my life. I will share that message with you the next time! Until then, get on your grace shoes and walk in that Grace you cannot earn but has been freely given to you.
In His Grace!
